Thursday, December 28, 2006

Not Under My Roof, You Aren't

That seems to be a far too frequent attitude among parents who find out their children are gay. Responses can range from strict curfews and constant monitoring to insistence on counseling or ex-gay therapy to "get the hell out!".

This week a woman wrote to Between the Lines, a gay weekly in Michigan to tell her story about what happened when she said "get out".

It will break your heart.


Blogger grace said...'s something that makes no sense to me....

according to the hardliner ex-gay/anti-gay's poor bonding blah blah blah...that turns alot of people gay....

if this is the case....then it seems that a more accepting attitude of your child, no matter what their interests, temperament, personality, etc....even if they were drawn toward stereotypically "gay type" interests (i'm sorry for this but it's the only way to make this point)....could actually, according to the theory, HELP in that more kids would get that critical bonding and be loved unconditionally for who they are...and then would come out straight....

does this make sense at all or have i just made a big idiot of myself???

this is a heartbreaking story....i couldn't stop loving and being compassionate to a husband who is gay...much less a biological child...i can't even imagine....

6:02 PM  
Blogger Timothy Kincaid said...

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1:05 PM  
Blogger Timothy Kincaid said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:07 PM  
Blogger Timothy Kincaid said...

Makes sense to me. I don't see how trying to demand that a kid be someone whom they aren't is supposed to make you close to them.

If homosexuality somehow is caused by bad relationships (and idea I find laughable) then how can a program of personality modification somehow improve that relationship. I think you've hit on the inherent disconnect.


I don't know if you've seen it but there's a new show called Ugly Betty. On it there is this great character; this little kid about 12 or so who is extremely flamboyant (either a great little actor, or a naturally flamboyant one). He loves fashion and decorating the Christmas Tree and singing and dancing.

The family treats him like he's perfectly normal. In one scene his natural father shows up and tries to butch him up. The Mom steps in and says, "Justin's comfortable with who he is and so are we. He's a great kid." It was one of those few moments when you think that maybe television isn't the source of all that is wrong with the world.

1:11 PM  
Blogger grace said...

I've not watched that show but I will try and do that...I've certainly seen the ads and heard about it....when does it come on? I have TV now but I have no sense of certain shows and when they play....we just turn it on occasionally and flip around....

I do think that you have hit on something as is good and bad....depending on your perspective....granted, it's probably mostly "bad"...i mean...the stuff I see when I do turn it on...yikes! boys...good gravy, they download stuff off the internet that's way worse....ANYWAY....there are LOTS of good messages out there...yes....there are! we have to try and keep our glass half full instead of half empty, don't we?


4:10 PM  
Blogger Timothy Kincaid said...

Oh I shouldn't let you think it's a "good" show or one with a message. It's really an americanized version of a telenova (spanish soap opera). It's all high drama and full of campy exagerated characters. But it does have at its base a sweetness that makes it joyful to watch.

Its on ABC (but I've forgotten what night - I just Tivo everything)

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